Mackenzie’s Story
I was diagnosed with Focal Epilepsy three years ago.
I have always lived a healthy, active and athletic lifestyle. Growing up as a competitive dancer I am a go-getter with an ambitious mindset. I played hard and worked hard at University and launched my career in fashion right after graduating university travelling all through the U.S. and parts of Europe. Life was great!
In my mid 20’s seemingly out of nowhere I had my first few seizures. Each experience felt ‘out of character’ - I associated the cause with too much stress and dehydration. After the third seizure I went to the hospital and had various neurological tests, typical brain scan protocols. Nothing abnormal stood out to the doctor and I was told to carry on with my life as usual. It took two more seizures and a different Neurologist to medically diagnose me with Focal Epilepsy. I lost my driver's license and started taking medication daily to manage the Neurostimulation in my brain.
After the diagnosis, I had many ups and downs. I was very hopeful and confident thinking I could control the feeling of the ‘aura’ the sensation I feel before I seize. After the requisite license suspension and no seizures for months I was finally able to return to driving. Unfortunately another seizure came out of the blue resulting in being unable to drive again. The only treatment offered was increasing my medication dosage. I spoke with my doctor seeking other various treatments and looking for ways to manage the outcome. I wanted to be referred to specialists about managing my emotions and look at whether balancing my hormones would help. I believe there seemed to be a correlation between my ovulation cycle and seizures, they would always happen around ovulation, which is a rise of estrogen in the body and brain. With no action or assistance from the doctor or any particular concern for my particular epilepsy condition, I felt I was being treated with a lack of interest and empathy. I was told to accept that, “The hardest part of being epileptic is to accept that there are unknown variables to why you have seizures and to keep taking your medication.” No referrals were offered, end of discussion. This was very disheartening to hear, I wanted to understand it better, to learn more with the help of my neurologist. I lost my independence and freedom with no explanation of how I could fix, prevent or treat the overwhelming stimulation. So I allowed Epilepsy to define me, I chose to use the diagnosis as a reason to be down and unavailable to experiencing life, which drove me into depression. I developed a fear of stimulation, like going to a concert, fear of emotions, like dealing with a problem head-on, or expressing myself to someone at the moment.
Being an optimist and having the support of my family and friends, I was able to see this diagnosis as a life-changing experience for the better. My ‘awakening' is noticing anytime I have an ‘aura’ sensation, movement and fitness is my coping mechanism. It became clear to me that physical movement enhances my cognition and having mindful awareness in the present moment I am more conscious and can better control my thoughts and feelings. I discovered the power of meditation, stillness, and the importance of grounding myself.
“If thoughts are the language of the brain, and feelings are the language of the body, we can change our state of how we feel.” Dr. Joe Dispenza.
I condition my body to a ‘new mind’ and center my attention on the present moment. I live with more consciousness by implementing daily habits, for example; meditation, yoga, pilates, 8+ hours of sleep, and loads of nourishing food for my body and brain. I now pause before acting or reacting, a form of self-regulation from being in a state of chaos to a state of peace. This is how I manage extreme states of emotions, victimization, judgment or misrepresentation of a situation. I believe my seizures are caused by subconscious programs created by repressed emotions and triggered by behaviors, stress responses, and hormones- estrogen. “Thoughts produce an electrical charge and feelings produce a magnetic charge. The thought sends the signal out and the feeling draws the event back.” Dr. Joe Dispenza
Being diagnosed with Epilepsy has slowed my pace of living down, I have stopped keeping up with society's pace and started listening to my inner voice. “The mind is broader than the brain and bigger than the body.” Dr. Joe Dispenza
There are many ways we can treat and manage Epilepsy in addition to medication. It is easy for a doctor to prescribe medicine by matching it to the labels for conditions that are associated with symptoms. While medicine is needed and it saves lives and treats illness, research and evidence show that lifestyle and functional medicine helps patients in a chronic state.
Let’s try to not let the word Epilepsy define your life, and do not give up on finding your solution. I am always seeking information on Epilepsy and my hope is to find a Neurologist that is more willing to be involved with me and my personal discovery of this condition.
The courage of those living with epilepsy,
inspires us and fuels our journey.
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