Meet Advocate & Artist: Matana Geraghty
For Epilepsy Awareness Month we have had the privilege of highlighting some incredible people in our community who are doing the important work of using their voice to bring awareness about epilepsy and create change.
Matana is one of those people. We connected with her to have her share her story and her art.
“The day I experienced my first ever seizure will always be the most vivid day of my life. Playing 'Guess Who' with my brother, suddenly hearing high pitch noises in my right ear, then falling to the floor unable to control my own body. At eleven years old, it was pretty terrifying!”
Some days, I feel invincible, but some days, I remember that my body can’t handle everything the way others can.
When I’m invincible, I push myself to the limits and as far as I can, because I know that I can do anything I set my mind to. But that feeling is short-lived.
I wake up…and I feel that invincibility…that strength, drawn out of me…taken away, like Samson losing his strength after Delilah cutting his hair.
My brain pounding, my hands and feet tingling, the ground shaking. My eyes uncontrollably moving around the environment.
I feel like I’m about to lose my last life in a video game, and nothing is able to recover my ‘health damage’. My body movements are unconscious, but my inner psyche can understand, see and feel everything going on!
No matter how much pain I end up being in, or how long of a recovery period I need to take, no one understands what I’m going through, and the difficulty of trying to live life ordinarily. People think I’m overexaggerating about how I’m feeling, and some people even get upset when I don’t reply to them after being ill.
Imagine your brain falling off a cliff, and you constantly having to pull it back up with a rope, so it doesn’t hit the ground.
People see me as this over-energetic person, who is able to manage everything thrown at her. Who can do things that everyone asks, and still have time to help others. The one that cares for her twin Autistic brothers when they need assistance. That does Kickboxing and Muay Thai for five days a week, and absolutely loves it!
But people don’t see the pain, the long insufferable nights of feeling unaccomplished. My brain self-injuring daily, leading to the point where that feeling is somewhat normalized. Depicting the pain all over my body to someone, JUST so I can make them aware, or for them to understand even just a little bit about how I’m feeling (which normally doesn’t end up happening).
Because no one is able to understand what I’m going through (not even my neurologists), I put all of that frustration into art pieces. Most of my art pieces are reflective of my family, and what we all go through, including Autism and Epilepsy. Some of the pieces I have completed that are most representative of my feelings are “Epilepsy: Neuron Action Potential”, “Anosodiaphoria” and “Untitled: Making the Invisible Visible”.
“Epilepsy: Neuron Action Potential” is a representational film of actions and events that occur during an epileptic seizure. As these lights, represented as neurons, gradually increase in their patterns and speed, the epileptic seizure takes a toll on my body in many forms. Since neurons in the brain control the energy and output of the body, I am showing that epilepsy can wipe out the body’s consciousness in the end, as a computer suddenly shuts down when overworked. I am shown as an object in this piece, achieving the point of how neurons drastically impact every part of my body.
“Anosodiaphoria” is about the artist’s internal feelings of when I endure a seizure, and goes on to portray the message to those who are unaware of epilepsy in general. This feeling of unconsciousness, confusion, and loss of control is shown through the specific photos I have chosen for this work, and having the light behind the photos defines the amount of firing neurons currently taking place in the brain which enables the viewer to engage with the experiences of the subject. Anosodiaphoria is defined as a condition in which a person who suffers disability due to brain injury has a lack of affective response to dysfunction.
“Untitled: Making the Invisible Visible” is an artwork that is representative of invisibility and lack of importance within the realm of disabilities and disorders, especially in the lives of those with epilepsy. When multiple people with different disabilities and disorders unite, they become SEEN when they come together as one, as they make that statement! This art piece is a depiction of this unity previously explained.
My brain is degrading everyday, but that is not stopping me from defying the odds of epilepsy and fighting against the stigma of how people with epilepsy are portrayed. My inner self is trying and trying daily to snap out of these auras and further stressors that cause seizures to abruptly happen.
Taking one hour at a time, the struggle between the brain and my inner self doesn’t get easier. I just get stronger every time.
The courage of those living with epilepsy,
inspires us and fuels our journey.
Your gift will help us to continue on the road toward an epilepsy cure.